Like Oates without a Mustache or Like Magic without the HIV?

Drip . . . Drip . . . Umlat . . . Drip . . . Drip. The smells are pungent but indirect, maybe if i coward on the magicians it will make sense. guest starring timothy carey as the world's greatest sinner. Sometimes you get the right perspective to parse through all the nonsense and visualize the shaking ass of an R and/or B superstaress floating in front of you like a globe beach ball levitating in front of the ghost of wade boggs. Drinking 42-78 beers on a cross cuntree flight is some kind of american dream, but maybe not mine, yet . . . I still insist on being THAt guy when it all boils down to the insensitivity of the tall man towards the less tall man. Careful wording prevents 13 out of 37 office accidents. I haven't bled in a while, i need to get myself into a situation where that isn't the case. I am taking recommendations below. Tell me how to bleed. I need to bleed. Either that or I need to watch the movie Norbit again, same bready undercooked burgers different hallucinatory hammerpanted plasticine spokesmonster of the future. I demand a natural cure to my ailment that THEY ARENT TELLING ME YOU US THEM ABOUT! do you recommend a particular froot? A loop? a needle and a whistle? I probably just need to start playing basketball again. Torpor Grace aint got nothing on me, but he does have something on a bloody rag in a hallway that he calls his face. You simply cannot stop this bum rush, it is some kind of impossibility, like being attracted to Fergie.

Mo Betta Meaty Meaty Burger, Too!

It's a kind of tragedy that a man can't take a shit wherever he damn well pleases and not get harassed by somebody tapping them on the shoulder and "politely" pointing out that that is their shoe and could you please go behind a bush or something and when you do get up, you realize that somehow in the process you got an asshair stuck somehow inside the aglet and it hurts boy it hurts, but you gotta move cause you been called out so you go and you find somewhere else and you squat and squint and the moment's passed, you can't get anymore out. Well, that's the way today has gone at work, except i'm by mice elf up here without a springer or a greco feeding on all kinds of different hangoverz (I count 7 for me now, could go up or down in next half hour). I am getting stupider every day, but at least, now all my laundry is clean. I d3mand refreshments and rubbing alcohol. Next time, I explain how to read in three simple to read paragraphs specially designed for the amateur reader (no reading experience readquired). READ.

p.s. remember those "hip" READ library posters from the earlyish 90s it's killing me trying to think what Stipe was reading but it was a laugher oh yes it was.

Sometimes Your Placenta Gets In The Way, Sometimes The Strands Hang Just Right

So a marching band on Magnum PI is playing the Monty Python theme song, but this is the least of our problems. It is only a beginning. The mug is in Paris right now, likely sitting in a sink and smelling mildly of gin and/or tonic, or collecting fungi at a prodigious rate immaterial to the neatness of its prim and proper owner. So things here didn't go quite as planned, but nothing ever dies on the internet, an elephant graveyard for mouth breathers and high falutin' motherfuckers in kind. the mug was passed, but no one else ever kept the torch of "BLOGGING" about it here. So it goes. I was perplexed to find this site ungoogleable, hence the revival. hence the aborted. hence the rectal relocation (it's on my ankle now, so much more sanitary). If I were to summarize why I have done this or why you should care, it simply boils down to this . . . being bored at work. CHUELZZZ! LOOK FOR MORE BIG UPS IN THE 2K7! HISTORY IN THE MAKING!